[x]

StaircaseI miss
        Your smile.
                       Your presence.
                                  &

Seeds.Holding onto memories of those terrible nights within your grasp is beginning engrave words in your skin and in your thoughts. You can let it all follow around you in the clouds you inhale and the stomach acid you release after those long secluded nights because after all everything is a memory someday.

Holding onto your deteriorating past denies it the chance to decay and bloom from the remnants that are leftover.

Your hands don't seem quite so soft and your fears not so subtle. They're rising to the surface along with all the other baggage you deny holding because you're terrified to let it out. Its scratching at your skin from the insid

Just Kidding.I feel safe here.
[Just kidding.]
And I've always known that this was how it'd end.
[Just kidding.]

(Have you ever felt so alone that the slightest movement in the room can scare you?)

I love the thought of staying here where I am forever and growing old.
[Just kidding.]
And I love what you've done to me. The way you picked me up and dropped me over and over again. I love it because it helped me grow.
[Just fucking kidding.]

(Have you ever held in tears all day and when they finally come out in the end you're surprised because you didn't know you could cry so hard?)

I like who I am, flaws and all...and even all tho

SilhouetteShe sees creepy little masks on children's creepy little faces.
And red acrylics smeared across a canvas oh so delicate.
She imagines barb wire wrapped around her heart, trying to protect the sounds it holds.
Dupp-lub...
               Dupp-lub....
                           Dupp-lub.....

She crosses out words she doesn't like.

And puts the ones she does like on r e p e a t.

StitchedLicking her stained red lips
She whispers something about the weather
Tilting her size 0 hips
She wears the word "never"

Drinking his black, bitter coffee
In his black, fancy slacks
With his hands resting free
He just wants her back

They're getting up slowly
From a once-made bed
Their hearts pound un-knowingly
But they wish they were dead

She sews the word "love,"
In her soft glowing skin
She wanted to carve it but,
The blade wouldn't dig in

He picks up the vodka
And stumbles to the floor
He says "I don't believe in karma;
At least not anymore."

She leans on the table
On the ground where he stood
She's feeling unstable

Bus StopI'm afraid that I'm slipping out of my own grip, if that makes any sense.
My lungs are tightening up inside my chest and as my breath gets shorter and shorter the words become harder and harder to say.
Your words are beginning to blur together and it's getting a lot more difficult to hush the urge to scream.
I'm not robust and you really don't know what's happening past the words we choose to exchange.
There's always something hidden underneath it all…right?
I don't think it's a fucking game.
So I start questioning everything, like why you didn't say it back and why it took me half an hour longer to get home than it usually would.

Behind The "Truth"Behind every "just kidding" is a spark of lies
Right after every "it's not your fault" is a thought of "I told you so"
Underneath every "I'm fine" is a tiny whisper for help
Inside of all the "I don't want to talk about it's" is a beg for sympathy
Behind every "I love you." Is a desperate "Don't leave me."
All of the texts of "it's fine," are lies.
And all of the "whatever's" are "leave me alone's"
Inside of every fact there's a question
And with every lie comes an answer.

GhostYou are a ghost.
You are a ghost inside of a dream that you cannot reach because it has been buried deep under repressed memories and sheets that are no longer clean.
You are crying hysterically but its okay because tomorrow will be better because there is no possible way for it to be worse than today.
There are other ghosts alike you that are begging for your hand because they want to take you far far away with them so that you can be whole but you are too drunk to see straight and you are too drunk to take the ghost's hand that is waving goodbye in front of you.
That's all it is nowadays.

Goodbye
Hello
Goodbye
Hello
Goodbye
Hello

2-20-11 You say you think you're losing your mind.
I tell you that you aren't crazy, just blind.
Because you refuse to see it's not all dead yet.
And nothing can save you until you let yourself forget.
You sit in the corner and beg for mercy-but no one will hear you.
I keep on trying to give you everything I can-and I will soon.
And now you're staring at yourself in the mirror,
And now everything in your reflection is fighting to become a bit clearer.
But you keep on telling yourself that no one deserves a second chance
And if you want to, you can stop the nightmares of drugs cuts and violence.
And at this point, all you

VoicesYou take your paint brush and slowly taint your face with toxic brands of colors and chemicals, forcing yourself to look like you're smiling.
You look out your window and see the beginning of a sunrise etched into the horizon and you promise yourself that today will be better.
You tell yourself that today,you won't let yourself hear the voices.
The ones that whisper to you in the morning and get louder and louder until they release a climaxed scream at dusk that lasts till dawn.
The voices haunt you like the ghosts and ghouls did from your closet when you were a child.
They tell you you're not worth it.
(Or worth anything, for that mat

R e g r e tThere are
l o v e l y l i t t l e l i a r s
among your
d a z y d i t z y d r e a m s .
When you think you have it all
youfindout
y o u h a v e n o t h i n g .
Now you're plucking off the petals
from your
m e r r y h a p p y r o s e .
It simply wasn't good enough
b e c a u s e n o o n e e v e r w a s .
You're hiding tiny
s e c r e t s
in a cove of
s e r e n i t y .
And you're f a l l i n g
t
o
  t
   h
    e
______b _o_t_t_o_m________

.....................................................

A n d r e g r e t t i n g e v e r y t h i n g .

A Story Without An Audience.The continuing adventures of a girl, black patterned tights, and a longing for a different scenery. Stars and a lawn in place of sleep; a useless bed and lilac pillows are wasting away in a dark room. Lavender incense replaces air; city lights in reflections gleaming over bodies of water made of tears and infested with goose bump covered lovers and heartbeats so thick they induce tsunamis. A heart like the iron core of a dying star. A soul hidden under layers and layers of sheets and linens hanging on the clothes line in the rain. (Ironic, isn't it?)

Tales of wandering through caves and fields of jellyfish and oceans of flowers, sitting unde

A Casket Built For TwoDays are passing one by one and they're all lined up like an army
Perfectly in sync with your heart beat the second hand clicks so violently
Blood is pushing through your veins; taunting you under your skin
There was a once time when you would never pay attention to it
But now the blue screams at you, begging to be asleep once again
Now the sky cries with you; won't you paint it red?

You sing the old songs note by note
About love and joy and the power once shown
One day you stood up on your tower and screamed out a song
Now you stare at the clock wondering exactly how long
Six, Seven, Eight or Nine
Numbers get lost in your head mon

EccedentesiastThe truth is, sometimes when I'm around too many people I become an eccedentesiast.
Lights and sounds sometimes overwhelm me and I get too afraid to mention the fact that I want to scream.
I've gotten pretty good at crying silently.
I feel like all of this is just part of a story I've created in my own head and maybe I can somehow alter the ending but really, I can't.
And I'm not going to say I'm flipping through pages or following chapters of my life or any of that crap because honestly I don't think life is like a book. In a book you can jump ahead a few pages.
I don't think of myself as a well-thought out character either.
The st

Home VideosIt all flickers and suddenly everything feels black and white.
Like home movies in your head, and it's never felt so distant.
The late night walks.
The sugar coated fruit slices.
And even the roller blades gliding up and down the hot summer sidewalk.
A rush of cold memoir is pushed through jagged veins and you suddenly feel like nothing can get much worse.
And the vision of your face feels so close.
But it's so blurry it might not even be you.
And then this question arises...
Who really made you smile?
And I don't mean a little grin as you pass in the halls;I mean a full, teeth showing, can't-hold-it-in, smile.
So who really made

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More from *co0kiem0nstr

TodayYou taste like dust

Floating from my

Lips

After a long

Unforgiving evening

Of seclusion.

And I know you

Will be reading this

Late

With that

Focused look on

Your face

That always made me

Wonder

But you will

Never figure out

Or understand

My thoughts

Fears

Dreams.

Me.

I am

A crumpled receipt

In the corner

Of your wallet.

And I am

A melting memory

Being carried

Away

In your mind.

And I am

The old map we used

To travel up North

On New Years

And you drove

While we sung along

To Places and Numbers

And you loved

And it was so beautiful

But

You will never

Need

That map

Again.

Yesterday730 days ago

You tasted

Like Autumn mornings

Cool but

Comforting

Soft

And colorful

Everything I love.

And your scent was

The color purple

And

A band without voices

Soothing and promising

Like the eyes

You gave me when

You would whisper the words

That mattered.

Stepping StoneA stepping stone
To lead the way
Temporarily useful
And in the end
Disposable.

A shoulder to cry on
When things get hard
So very fake
But in the moment
Perfect.

Someone to fuck
To ease the loneliness
Prosthetic love
But for your heartache
Repairing.

A stepping stone
To crack under your feet
Unnoticeable and kind
Always waiting for you
To love.

Open Me UpOpen me up.
Cracking bones, tugging veins, puncturing lungs.
Every piece of my rib cage and every vital organ in my body: twisted.
Stomping on promises and hope, this was not supposed to happen.
(You were not supposed to give in and I am not supposed to forgive.)
I did not know that love could ever be so fickle.

My heart beat raced for you, longing, wanting, loving, promising, needing.
But I was wrong and I don't know where that happened.
-Twisting and tumbling through my arteries, you spewed lies into me and I was thrown off balance.
(No matter how many times I can possibly be told otherwise, I always end up blaming myself.)

You knew it wa

HumI hummed
and you knew every word;
you sang along.

That's just it
in sweater weather
and open window apartments.
That, that alone,
that song, rise, fall, pitch,

and the wind hummed
blowing
through the window.

You knew every word.

DeliriumMissing you
I lose myself in delirium
Night gone, passed
Lithium
Forgetting sorrows
Only caused by you
Quazars exploding
A thousand moaning wishes
Sleep in my veins tonight
You are more than the sun.

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Submitted: November 16, 2010
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[x]

Her favorite Game

by *co0kiem0nstr, Nov 16, 2010, 6:16:44 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

She sits in the silence
As you display all your hate
She hides from the violence
And a cruel world's fate
In a mask her tears are hidden
They play dead for the crowd
Her face is forbidden
From joy being found.

Let it all die out
She's screaming aloud.

He was her once prince charming
The reason she lived
His death was alarming
And her faith caved in.

Fuck the scene and run
From all that is feared
Love isn't fun
When it's drowned in tears
Rear back to the start
Where ignited love burns
Where she can save her heart
And time never turns.

Give her a chance
To take back the day
Make it all last
So she's saved from dismay.

Her favorite Gameby *co0kiem0nstr

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Hm...

~Belle95 Apr 30, 2013 Student Writer

~kath660 Nov 26, 2010 Hobbyist Photographer

very interesting... but i don't see the moral

~PhsycoTatie Nov 18, 2010 Student Traditional Artist

SUICID IS HER. FAVORITE GAME. I Love it when I find a poem with a message in it. This is really good by the way.

*co0kiem0nstr Nov 18, 2010 Student Writer

lol thank you

~PhsycoTatie Nov 18, 2010 Student Traditional Artist

your welcome

~angelfromabv119 Nov 17, 2010

your a very talented poet. great job

*co0kiem0nstr Nov 17, 2010 Student Writer

thank you!

~007Balel Nov 17, 2010 Student Writer

I love the "hidden" message within the poem. It suits the structure and the theme really well.

I love how she welcomes suicide when the death of a loved one has taken place... showing a sign of lost hope.... showing regret for the broken heart that now lies shattered into pieces on the floor.

Nice work

*co0kiem0nstr Nov 17, 2010 Student Writer

thank you

~007Balel Nov 17, 2010 Student Writer

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